The Moment after Death

The night after the Rachel Held Evans funeral, my wife, who was only familiar with Rachel through my interests broke down in tears.  She had just finished putting our 2-year-old to bed, and it broke her.  I came over to comfort her, as I knew she was heartbroken over Rachel's children having to grow up without their mother, but she surprised me.

She told me instead her heart was breaking for Rachel.  She couldn't understand how anyone could be happy with not getting to raise their kids.  How could she be in heaven rejoicing knowing that she doesn't get to raise her two little children?

That perspective took me off guard, and after spending some time crying with her, I started to grasp for things I remember having heard in the past in some context.  I remember somewhere once hearing the concept of Soul Sleep, which is essentially as I understand it the idea that after someone dies, they remain asleep and unconscious until the second coming.  If that concept is true, Rachel isn't trying to somehow rejoice while knowing she can't be there for her children.  Instead, she is just peacefully sleeping until she wakes up and immediately gets to see Dan and her kids again.  That seems like a comforting thought in some respects and one that takes that paradox away.

I had never before considered the relevance in this life of Soul Sleep vs instant appearance in Paradise (both of which have some Biblical support - I'll not make a case for either here).  It seemed like a random theological talking point.  But after this conversation, I can see how each one offers a different type of hope.  It's true that we talk about rejoicing forever in Heaven, but if we are aware of the people we left on the earth, it does seem difficult to imagine having no negative emotions relating to that.  I don't know which one is true (or if either are), but it did get me considering the benefits of each perspective and why it might matter to us today.

I'd love to hear others thoughts or perspectives about this.  What do you think about what happens the moment after death?